Align my thoughts

Melissa and I are going to date, unless something drastic changes.  I have been surprisingly quiet with my friends about this possibility.  For some reason, I have felt it more necessary to bring it to God than to my friends.  I am very motivated at the moment to get my life in check with God.  Because I realize that ultimately, I should be getting back into the word and devotional life for myself and God, I will be praying that God will switch my motivation to that.

It is crazy how quickly 2 people can fall for each other.  I seriously want to wait anymore, but know that in a relationship that could be serious and long-term and could end in marriage, small careful steps is appropriate and taking things carefully is needed.  I need to be a good leader and decision maker in this process.

I'm really not exactly sure what to do next, I should be praying.  I think it would be unfair to continue to spend time with her and talk as deeply with her as I have been without a commitment, which I feel I am in the place to give.  But, we need to probably meet more of my friends and her friends and spend some time with some other people together so that we see each other in our social lives.  I'll talk to her about it sometime soon.

Michelle called me.  She is still going to help me plan:  Thank God.  Also, I am still going out to camp today to do a tour and to show Fred our plans for the race.  I'll probably show up for the kids rodeo as well which starts at 3.  Well, that is it for now... just a quick need to align my thoughts for today.

Changes in the wind...

Well, I have a couple of things to address:

First, the visit from Mike, Kindra, and Peyton.  Peyton is one of the cutest kids I have ever seen... We went out for dinner, and I had no idea what to expect going in.  Mike was my best friend for my first few years at Taylor, but when he started dating my ex-girlfriend, we kind of quickly ran out of conversation material.  So, when they said they wanted to come visit, I wasn't sure what to expect.  I had seen Kindra once since we had broken up, and it was extremely awkward at the time.  They came on Wednesday.  It turned out, it was like catching up with old friends.  Kindra even brought up the Winnie the Pooh prank, and we laughed about it a bit.  Long story short, I feel like I reconnected with a couple of friends.  Going in, I knew it would either be like that or super awkward and the end of a friendship.  I'm glad it went the way it did...

I recently cancelled my trip to Newfoundland.  After talking to Robyn, I realized that if I am going to drop $600 on a trip, I want it to be full of adventure and excitement and have good times with people who want to be around me.  That was no longer going to happen for various reasons that I won't get into.  Anyways, I now have to decide what to do with that week that I took off.  Should I just work?  Should I travel somewhere else?  I guess I'll just have to go with my gut.  I'm not sure what it is telling me.  It makes me a little sad that I can't go have the adventure I thought I was going to have...  Oh well, what can I do?

Last night, I read a message from Michelle, who I've been working on the Amazing race with, and she just out of the blue decided that she can't afford to take a week off and needs to work to pay back her parents some money.  This is scary for me.  It kind of leaves me in charge of the Amazing race and Evening program on my own.  Up until now, I was kind of along for the ride, and was going to be able to take on the responsibilities of in the moment explanations and back-up leadership.  I am quite scared and realize that I am going to have to rely on God now to get thru this.  I'm not sure even where to start.  We were supposed to be going out to camp tomorrow to tour the course of the race, I guess I may still have to get out there alone, and get on things.

On a positive note, I had a pre-dating date with Melissa on Thursday starting right after work.  We went for a walk, ate left-overs at my place, and then chatted until about 11.  We haven't scared each other off, and I am really enjoying spending time with her.  Her character is godly.  This is a woman who deserves the best.  She also really likes me, it seems, and manages to encourage me a ton.  I also met up with her yesterday after work.  She was out with her ex-roommate and the girl she was out with wanted to meet me.  So, I came by and hung out for a bit.  Melissa was a bit apologetic to me, because her old roommate tried to grill me a bit.  She didn't need to apologize.  I really enjoy spur of the moment things and off the cuff, thinking on my feet, conversations.

So, in conclusion, my day off today will involve lots of thinking, planning, and preparation for what God has in store for me over this summer:

"I need to rely on You, God, thru the good times, the bad times, and the ugly times.  You alone grant grace and mercy and I pray that you grant me both in the months ahead."

I also checked out a sermon series that I should footnote here so that others can check it out.  I watched the first sermon, and plan on watching the other 10 sometime soon.

http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/the-peasant-princess

it is a good site so far.  Anyways, signing off for now.

Long weekend to remember

Well, this is probably one of the best long weekends that I have ever had...

It began with the rehearsal on Friday, the wedding on Saturday, the gift opening on Sunday.  After that I spent some time with some cousins I hadn't seen in a while, some friends who appreciate me and a day of staying in bed until 10:30, playing a game of Catan over at Melissa's, seeing Wolverine, and eating at Eastside Mario's.  That, in my opinion, makes for a pretty stinking good long weekend.

I have to get up by 6 tomorrow again, and back to work and done with the fun, but I do need to update a few things.  First, it seems like Robyn has dropped off the face of the planet.  I hear a tidbit every once in a while, but I have no idea if she is still down for me coming to visit.  Second, I guess I'm waiting until after my trip to NL, but I think I may end up pursuing a deeper relationship with Melissa.  I am really enjoying spending time with her and she really has a great attitude about life.  I'm pretty tired now, so this is all, but maybe I'll get some more in tomorrow.

Ps. Looking forward to Bible shopping with Bailey tomorrow.  Nothing is better than a really good Bible.

Exams were passed...

So today, was a good day!  My job at the church, it turns out, is going to be mostly outdoor maintenance.  I get to make the place look better from the outside.  This excites me because I should get to work outside a lot.  It also means I should be getting a lot of exercise and sun.

Next topic:  I passed all of my classes!!!  I got a B, a C+, and a C-.  Those are all passing marks.  Now granted, you always want to do a little better than a C-, but under the circumstances leading up to my finals, I will gladly take a pass.  So now, what remains is a visit to the school to assign some classes from my transfer to my program, and to make sure student loans board knows that I am going back to school in the fall.

I had an interesting offer today.  Melynda asked if I would be willing to move in with her and Rachel in the case that her brother moves out.  She was part serious, but there is still a lot of thinking that would have to go into a decision like that... including a consultation with Rachel.  I never expected any kind of offer like that, and so I really didn't know what to say at the initial suggestion.  I know what it could look like, and considering the history I have with Rachel, it may not be the wisest move for me.  However, I don't have to say yes or no to that right now.  There is a lot of life to live before that kind of decision has to be made.

Other thoughts... I think I may have been sun-burned today.  My head is really hot.  I have no idea where Robyn and I stand.  She hasn't been communicating with me hardly at all... although, she is spending a last hurrah! with her Newfie friends.  I feel quite busy still, and yet every night that I don't have anything planned, I wish that I did.  Hopefully worship practice will end soon and I will be able to go out with those folks.  It feels really hot in here.  I feel good from all the exercise I got today.  Peace!

Goodbye Grandma!

Well, I'm back from Sask.  It was a really different funeral for me.  I had done all of my crying beforehand.  My grandmother was in a lot of pain, and I'm glad she doesn't have to suffer anymore.  I know she is in a better place.  I kind of feel like she was being tortured.  She was trapped in her body as it was slowly breaking down, and there was no escape.  I saw her for years constantly struggling with how to cope with life like that.  In the end she was a little cookoo, and I don't blame her.  I think I would have been too.

Tomorrow, I start work.  I need to be there at 7:00am.  That is early.  However, I am a morning person.  I will probably wake around 6:00am which should give me enough time to get to work.  This is pretty exciting.

I've been meeting new people lately which is always a thrill for me.  I like to meet new people, and see who they are and I always think about how I can positively influence people who I meet.  Every once in a while, there is someone I meet who kind of stands out as someone worth getting to know better and more personally.  I wonder if it is that way for everyone?  I wonder if people think that about me.  I hope so.  I hope that there are people out there who meet me and think it is worth getting to know me better and find me intriguing and wonder how they can positively effect my life.  I know that tons of people remember me.  I guess I'm just memorable.

I had a good hair day!  I haven't had one of those in a while.  I think the key was not brushing my hair.  Anyways,  I guess that is it for now.  I should get some sleep.  Goodbye Grandma!!

My weekend...

So, I spent some time yesterday reading over my old posts.  I have been thru a lot of stuff since Taylor.  I can be pretty dramatic too.  Isn't is funny how people can deal with something, and forget they did.  I also really needed to address the topic of women a lot.  I'm going to go ahead and be done with that for now.

Today, is a big day for my brother.  We are having a wedding party football party and then we are having a bachelor party for my brother.  Initially, I was supposed to be in charge of that; however, some of the other groomsmen took it on eventually.  I was going thru some rough stuff and they picked up the slack.  I really need to thank those guys.

Anyways, once that is done, we are planning on leaving for Saskatchewan tomorrow.   I am on the list of drivers for the rented minivan, so I will be doing lots of driving.  We should get back on Tuesday.  I hung out with an old friend from Taylor, and it was so good to catch up.  She really has turned into a great person.  I hope we stay in touch (should be easier since she is in Calgary).

I'm a pretty strong guy, and the idea that stuff I do in my daily life is worth doing, makes my life worth living.  It doesn't always seem like that, but if it got away from that, it would be a lot harder to keep going on and pushing forward.

One comment:  I recently realized, I need to leave Robyn alone.  I am a great catch, and it is up to her or some other girl to realize that.  She is missing out.

I have really enjoyed hanging out with the friends a lot more.  We've been having a lot of fun...

I guess this is it until I get back from Sask.

Peace, love, and joy!!

Semi-Freedom

Well, hello again people.  I wrote my last exam for the semester!  Woohoo!  Boy it feels good to get that out of my mind and behind me.  My next week coming up here is really busy, so I need to make the most of today for rest.

Last night, I woke up at 3:45 in the morning.  I think I went to sleep before midnight.  Maybe that was the problem.  Anyways, I spent some time with God and in God's word because, honestly, there was nobody else up.  What are you supposed to do with that?  I read some Bible and truth and prayed to God until I fell back asleep.  It was real different and genuine.  I felt like without saying anything really, I was just kind of opening up my mind to God and allowing Him to see what was in it and do a little of what he wanted with it.

I think we as humans don't give God enough freedom to have his way in our minds sometimes.  We are too worried about things and kind of close God out of it.  Last night was different.  I felt like I was open to what God might try to tell me and I managed to not get distracted by other things...  If you are a guy, you know what I am talking about.

So someday, I think I will go into some detail about what guys face everyday.  Not today.

I'm hoping that today turns out well.  I'm hoping to get together for coffee with an old friend from Taylor.  Peace.