Pretty damn bad day!

Well… it has been a pretty junky day emotionally. How does one explain how I feel. I didn’t like myself today. Does that make sense? I wasn’t feeling comfortable with my actions and I wasn’t feeling in my heart at all. Pretty much everything I did today was to maintain image. Maintain my reputation. Honestly, I didn’t feel like working today. I didn’t feel like hanging out with the kids or with Melynda and Christine. I didn’t feel like hanging out with anyone else either. It didn’t help that the kids were a pain in the neck today. I was grumpy and they were out of control and are lucky that I don’t know really how to lose it or how to give someone a tongue lashing because I would have. The flames lost with the same kind of intensity that I felt today. Trying, but behind and demoralized. They weren’t at their best. I guess overall I just felt really crappy today. A shout out for all who are out there and feeling like I don’t really care. I know I care deep down somewhere, I’m just not finding it at the moment. I think that God has some chizzling to do on my heart somewhere deep down. I was pretty flat out bummed and angry today. I don’t know what should be done about it. I’m out!!