Breaking ties is awful!

Hey, I know that I don't blog much. I guess this blog has become something for me to make hard decisions and statements with. The truth is that I have been feeling less and less easy about my relationship with Meghan. She is still a nice girl, and I do care about her health and her safety, it just doesn't seem to be right. How does someone tell another that. That is the age old question. How can you share a special time with someone and sever it. How can someone coexist with someone else who rejected them. How can you tell someone that they are wrong for you? I don't care enough, and I have tried to be honest about that, but I have emotion problems. I don't really know how I feel and that really scares me and I don't think that I should be putting another through that. I also don't know what I am doing. She is scared of being rejected, so I am her nightmare come true. What an idiot... I guess I can apologize. I told her 3 days ago that I wasn't planning on breaking up and that I just needed a lot more time to think about it. Well, these 3 days seem to have done it. The time away, and the time to hang out with some other friends who I really do care about has really highlighted for me the emotions that I don't have for Meghan. Maybe I feel more emotion than I give myself credit for, I just don't have emotions for her. I think it took that time away in Edmonton for me to realize that though. ARGH.! Why can't I just find the one? Why can't I just listen to God and follow Him? Why do I get myself into these situations so I had to get myself out? Or did God get me into this so that He could get me out? I will be praying beofre I speak to Meghan, but in the meantime, I think I am going to have to break up with her. It is going to hurt her, and I hate inflicting that kind of pain on anyone. I think there is still girls out there who are still raw about rejection. Anyways, I'm gonna be saving this until I can actually talk to her, so I can do it in person. Alrighty, good night everyone... except me!!